If Only For Today

Turning my son into a mama's boy, one delicious snuggle at a time!

My baby is two weeks old today, and I have been slightly holding my breath to see if the colic train will come roaring into Asbury station, or if it will decide to pass us on by this time. (Please, please pass us by! I promise to wave and send my regards. I'll even buy a first-class ticket if you promise not to stop!) Colic tends to hit around the two- to four-week mark, but I'm really holding onto hope that this third time could be the charm.


Because these last two weeks have been divine. Di-vine. I didn't even know my life was missing my little Briggs until he arrived and things felt just as they should be. The first night we were home from the hospital I put Briggs down for a nap while the rest of us ate dinner. As the four of us sat eating, I just looked at Brian and said, "Doesn't it just feel like someone is missing?!" to which he replied, "I know. Isn't it weird that this is how it usually is?" Our baby boy was just sleeping in the other room, and already our family felt incomplete without his presence.


Because my boy is just delightful. I admit I am in love with two men now. One is Brian, and the other is Briggs. He steals my heart in a way I didn't know was possible or available. When I found out I was having a boy I was half thrilled, half terrified. Growing up with no brothers and then having two little girls, a little boy seemed somehow so far outside my comfort zone. And now he's all I know and everything I've ever wanted. I keep thinking, "THIS is what having a baby is supposed to be like!"


Perhaps it's the reward after the trial, but I feel so happy this time around. It's not the anxiety and major life overhaul of a first baby. It's not the juggling act of figuring out life with more than one child. It's just pure enjoyment. His arrival doesn't feel like it has brought a burden of extra chores, and I don't resent my new responsibilities. I love that it's my voice, my touch, and my scent that soothe him. I love that it's my body that provides his nourishment and feeds his adorable little chub. I love that my delivery went so great and that I feel well enough to care for him without cringing through the pain.


The colicy scream-fest of 2011 might start tomorrow. And my world might implode when all of my help goes home. And there will be teething and sleep set-backs and grocery store checkout tantrums. He will probably break his arm jumping off the backyard wall I will tell him a thousand times not to jump from. He will chase his sisters with spiders to hear them squeal, will ruin his Sunday shoes running in the mud, and will no doubt break a valuable or two dozen. He will probably date someone who is not good enough for him (will anyone ever be???), and he'll move away from home without a thought of how it breaks his poor mother's heart who has spent the last 18 years pouring her heart and soul into his very being. But that is for tomorrow. Because today he can do no wrong. Today he is wonderful and sweet and full of newborn, heaven-sent purity. Come what may, today, and even if only for today, he is mine and he is perfect.